~ Breakup Survival Guide ~

Ouch!

You broke up with a girl or she just broke up with you. Either way, it’s over and you’re hurting. Whether it’s been a day or a month or even a year, every time you think of that girl or something reminds you of her, a large pit forms in your stomach and tears well in your eyes. The absolute worst feeling in the world. You’d rather be sick with the flu, kicked in the nuts, or punched in the face; in fact you’d rather feel anything but what you feel when you think about her.

Leave the Past Where It Belongs

Who knows why you two broke up and who cares. All that matters is that it is over. Yes, you felt good with her and yes, you had all those special cute things that were unique to that relationship and yes, I know you want those times back. We all have wanted it. Regardless, the relationship happened in the past and it must stay there. Time spent dwelling on what you lost is time that could be better spent improving the present and the future.

Keep It in the Past

I know it is easier said than done. Even still, you must make the jump. Delete your ex’s phone number, remove her from facebook, from myspace, and from instant messaging. Throw away all mementos. Anything that might remind you of her or you might use as a crutch to remember her, it must go! You want it now and you think you need it, but all it will do is cause more harm and become an addiction. If you’ve been there before, you know I’m right and if you haven’t, then listen to me or you’ll soon learn the hard way.

Nothing is worse than rereading old letters, constantly checking for an internet profile update, or the urge to call the ex when you become needy. Fight it and make the jump. You will do it sooner or later and sooner saves you the pain.

Cut All Ties and Find New Ones

After every relationship the guy hopes to turn a breakup into a FWB or to somehow rekindle the fire and start fresh. If those hopes were realistic, the two of you wouldn’t have broken up in the first place, buddy. Don’t try and stay friends with her. In fact, I would recommend never talking to her again. It simply brings back old memories, old feelings, and more pain. Don’t even go for one more fuck or one more kiss or one more anything. It is over and it is time to move on. Any time you would have spent maintaining a friendship could be better spent meeting new people or in the gym or bettering yourself. Even if you feel insecure, or needy, or like you will never find happiness again, just know that it will happen if you go out and look for it fresh. Once you take the long scary jump across the abyss, a beautiful oasis is awaiting you and you’ll never look back.

Perspective and Time

Everyday gets easier when you totally remove your ex from your life. Stay positive and keep your eyes open to the beauty in life and the positive things you take for granted. At everyone’s darkest moment, there is beauty to be found around them. At everyone’s darkest moment, someone out there dreams of living your life. It hurts now, but looking back you will know you made the right decision to move on and find greater happiness than you would have ever known. Leave your comfort zone and you will be rewarded.

Never forget that we all have been there and felt your hurt…many times. It is never painless, but it doesn’t have to be a prolonged scarring process.